Wine Nerds

I luuurve my wine nerd of a manager! This guy really knows his wine, and doesn't act pompous about it. He makes wine super approachable and throws a lot of extra info into it, which appeals to the OCD in me...

He's cool. I like him and he's given me a chance at super sweet/busy shifts for the next 2 weeks... In bartender universe, "prime time."

I'm studying up on the wine/cocktail lists... If I can figure out a way to pace myself and stay interested/energized for this job, I could secure some damn good money for a while. Could be a good long while. We shall have to wait and see.

Update on Sammy's Universe

Since I've been at this job the past 2 weeks, my days off are mostly devoted to getting ready for work or spending time with family. I think I'm doing a good job. My life has gotten exponentially better since moving to southern California. The weather has made me feel healthier and happier (all that sunshine, man!) and work is starting to come along nicely.

I am the type that wants to get along with my co-workers. The people that work at the restaurant are a bit on the greedy/crabby side but I am doing my damn best to make sure working relations are civil. They are all just very comfortable pulling in lots of money every shift and have to find things to bitch about. I stick to my bar and have a smile for everyone, and leave it at that.

The way money is coming in, I should be able to pay all of my stuff off in the next 2 months for sure. I am so excited about this! It means a lot to me that I can do this on my own. Not like I have much of a choice but still, it feels very nice to be able to take care of myself. In addition to paying off all my business, I am also starting to plan a trip to Mexico in the upcoming months...I haven't decided where or when but I am definitely going this year. If things go perfectly, I will be able to travel to Mexico AND Europe this year. I have no other expenses so why not.

Our little house is coming along nicely. It is nice and cozy and furnishings make it even more so. Tomorrow we will look for a little coffee table and more shelves for the living room and bedroom. I am a huge fan of shelves so I hope we can find both tomorrow, but one nice big shelving unit will do for now.

Since James has run off, I am seriously considering getting a cat. Possibly tomorrow. I'll have to find a place to leave it when we travel, but that won't happen for a couple months so I'm thinking of just getting it. I love animals but it won't stress me out to leave a pet with a pet-sitting service. Especially since my entire family seems to hate cats with a passion.

I used to joke about being the black sheep of my family, but it's actually really seeming to be the reality these days. It's fine with me, I stay friendly with everyone and converse with them as social occasions call for. I am starting to tell them all where I work and invite them over when I'm on a shift, so hopefully that will help us re-connect further. This is mostly me re-connecting with cousins and such. I need to get my siblings on the ball too though. I have only been spending time with one of my sisters, and find it damn near impossible to catch a break in my brother's busy schedule so that we can visit.

I haven't seen him since long before I moved back in February. I'm ashamed to say I think it's been over a year. Maybe he will come with us this Saturday if he's not working a side job. He's starting to mature even more when it comes to money and work so all he does is work these days. It would be so nice if I could get him to come with us to my sister's house for an afternoon. I will contact him about it tomorrow. Fingers crossed!

Thomas Harris Kick

I've been reading the Hannibal Lecter novels. I read through Red Dragon and the Silence of the Lambs no problem. All of the graphic scenes didn't really bother me.

But at the end of chapter 9 in Hannibal, the rich survivor of a Hannibal Lecter attack torments a young foster child. He has these unfortunate children bussed in from Baltimore for his own amusement. He watches them play on camera and then calls them one by one into his room.

At this point I expected some pedophilia and was bracing myself for the words. But instead, the mutilated freak completely mindfucks the little kid. He scares him with his words, attempts to scare him with his physical appearance but fails. Nevertheless the child is saddened by the words the man said and sits by himself in a corner and cries. The sick fuck has a nurse gather the child's tears and put them in a martini glass for him.

Super saddening!! What the hell! I'm completely outraged by this! I suppose the passage has its purpose. After I read it, I was definitely appreciative of Dr Lecter convincing this man to cut his own face off and feed it to dogs.

End of the Bistro Drama and Weekend Work

It's great that the restaurant job is going so well because it really helped me to stay calm during the hunting down of my final bistro paycheck.

I don't want to get too into it again because it was very upsetting and exhausting for me, even though I knew in the back of my mind I was in the driver's seat.

Boss refused to pay me. I called him and texted his general manager over the course of a week's time. Still nothing. Finally I threatened with a wage claim filed with the department of Industrial Relations and he agreed to pay me that very same day. I showed up, he said some shit, I stayed calm, he said some more shit and refused to let me say goodbye to kitchen staff and so I let him have it. Told him if he payed his employees on time maybe he wouldn't be having these kinds of problems. I stayed calm but he was shaking and almost near tears with what I assume was rage and embarassment. He is not used to hearing the truth from his workers, mostly illegal immigrants that feel scared to ask for their money because they don't want to get fired. That was another reason I felt so inclined to speak up for them, and another reason the sight of him makes me sick.

I got my cash and left. Went to the bank and deposited it and was able to vent a little to my cousin's husband, the law clerk that gave me the advice in the first place who ironically, worked in the same building as the bistro. We chatted about the bistro disconnect and also about my cousin, his wife, pregnant with their first child.

He was surprisingly candid with me about the child. He was nervous, unsure but excited. I was happy I got to see him in that mindframe because every time I try to understand what a child does to change a person's life, the people I speak to already have children and are so impatient and confused with what I'm asking. I assume it's because they already have had the full hormonal shifts and so tending to their child feels as natural as breathing. They don't remember what life felt like before their child. I am interested in the hormonal shift so I like to ask probing questions on the subject. People don't always understand or appreciate why. He seemed okay with my questions which made me stop asking them!

After we parted I did the bank, mailed out the found wallet at the post office, shopped a lil for work clothes and came home to get started on laundry. I have a real fancy event tomorrow evening where the mayor and a bunch of other "important" San Diegans will be feasting. I am put on as a lead server. I have no idea what that means because I am a bartender and I am confused as to why I am not even being put on as a barback if getting behind the catering company's bar is what I am after.

I got a friend a job with the same catering company, and tomorrow will be his first event. I haven't seen him in a couple of weeks so I am looking forward to working with him. Though we will probably be working separately all night but oh well, I'm sure we will be able to talk a little bit at some point. I want to tell him about the bistro boss, I can already see the expression on his face.

Sunday there is a hugeass festival on the street where my restaurant job is, so I will be on center stage, working the bar with my bar manager... He is fairly young but really seems to know his shit so I am excited to get to work with him. I have to be on my A-game because the restaurant will be flooded which means lots of people to perform for and lots of tips to be made! I have no idea what my work schedule will be next week but I hope they keep me at 4 days for the restaurant...that gives me a spare day to do a catering event and 2 days to chill...

Money is starting to roll in and I have to start watching how I spend it. So far I have been pretty good about eating at home, with only 2 dining outs last week and some money spent on Cliff bars at 7-11 before a shift. I usually have my work schedule so packed that I only get to eat quickly, which is why I tend to go out and spend money on food. But I've got to cut that out because I've got other priorities for the money right now and I am determined to take care of them!!

Protecting Myself from the Servers

Starting my second week of work, I am happy to receive my first credit card tips check right on time on Monday. No problems, no wheedling of the management to pay me on time, just showed up to work and was handed a check. Love it! Now I can save my energy for actual work, instead of fighting with shady employers.

So they pay me on time and the money is good. But I am not out of the woods quite yet. The biggest challenge will be setting the shady servers straight at this job. Learning a new job is stressful enough, but when you're in the hospitality industry, you have to set the record straight from day one, and establish parameters of civility around yourself or else you'll be thrown to the wolves. "Thrown to the wolves" meaning you won't get tipped out, you'll find yourself running around doing backwards cartwheels for the servers while your guests at the bar are neglected. I learned that very good lesson from a badass lifetime bartender in Oakland.

Working in the hospitality industry can be so damn stressful!

I'm still working on learning everyone's names and where the damn juicers, muddlers, fckin brown sugar are in the bar/restaurant and now I must also make sure to let the servers know they cannot walk all over me. For some reason, though these people are walking with average $200 in tips per shift, they still feel the need to be greedy as hell. To further complicate things, there are no cash registers on site.

I've been very frank and open with everyone though, and I'm hoping that will at least garner some kind of awareness that I am not shady and do not want to be involved with bullshit. Straightforward! I'll give you your money, you give me mine, everything is fine.

I work again tonight, and tomorrow day shift as well. So far I am enjoying day shifts more but I've not had many night shifts yet so that judgement may change. There is a huge festival this Sunday day shift, which I will be working alongside my bar manager, that I'm pretty excited about. He's giving me a chance to get a taste for super busy shifts so I have to be on my A-game...that way he knows I can handle busy, and I'll have a better chance for being scheduled for future insane-o shifts.

Plus I genuinely think its going to be fun! We get along really well and hes a damn good bartender. I will learn a lot from him and hopefully we pull in a ton of money for the restaurant and ourselves.

Mother's Day

Mother's day has not always been my favorite holiday. As a child I would shower my dad with gifts and love on Mother's day. Mom was not in the picture. As an adult, I am less inclined to really give a damn about either of my parents and have chosen to celebrate my grandmother this Mother's day, whether she likes it or not! After all she is the person that actually raised me. Dad wasn't a complete burnout or anything, but grandma was the person I spent the most time with. Dad was good about raising me like a boy though, teaching me to be independent financially and emotionally...wooping my ass when necessary, and sometimes when not so necessary...interestingly enough, our distance is a direct result of those independent lessons...which he resents to no end while I don't understand why he isn't more proud of me for being exactly the way he wanted me to be.

But I have to digress! This entry is supposed to be about exploring my feelings towards my grandma. Really I'd like to complain and re-hash all of my complex feelings towards my mother but I am denying myself that here. It's been done a million times and there are never any solutions that make sense or stick for me for very long. The only reason she is at the forefront of my mind these days is because she chose to come back into her children's lives right around mother's day. A couple days ago to be exact. She completely screwed up the vibe I had going with my lil sis and nephew and I am pissed about that. My sister's home was a sanctuary away from mom's chaos but now it's the center of her universe, and who knows for how long. If she has her way I'm sure it will be years to come. "Indefinite" is one of her favorite words and ways of being.

I am trying to digress! But I am so annoyed with her. And at the root of my annoyance is a fear that I will someday be as dependent on family and unable to stand on my own two feet as she is. I am deathly afraid of that happening. I do not want to be homeless, penniless, yet full of booze when I am her age. I do not want my children (if I have any) to completely dread our interaction because of the confusing feelings I cause them to have.

She is a hedonistic woman, and has always been. Her intelligence and charisma, loving heart is still there, but she chooses to use them for self-serving purposes. How can someone so selfish be so destitute? Is it even possible to be so self-absorbed and yet have nothing to show for your life? Fuck Coach bags and expensive shoes, how about a roof over your head? Fuck owning your home, how about just being able to rent an apartment that has a little love thrown into it?

My mind understands her. My mind knows she just chose the wrong men, and their lives became hers, their minds her own. She could not stay separate from them. I understand this because I have done this on occasion before as well. Luckily I am currently with a man that would not allow such bullshit. And because my mind understands her, I also understand how simple it would be to fall into the life path she has blazed. I have already surpassed her standards of living a thousand times and still I fear I am not quite out of the woods. Everytime I have to squeeze pennies to make rent, have past due amounts on bills, cannot afford furnishings for my home, my heart jumps in fear that I will be just like her one day.

To top it off, everywhere I look Mother's day is some huge hugfest. I do not feel that way and I never have. I have wanted to many times, trust me. I'd love to, but I don't. There is no reason to in my world. So that is why I have chosen to embrace my grandmother this year, despite her reticence. And yes she's not a heartless person, but she has had her share of raising children as well as grandchildren and she is not the cuddly type of grandmother at all.

I will see her tomorrow, and take my little sister and nephew to visit with her as well, so that they may get a little sanity in their lives. I can't imagine the feelings my sister is going through with my mom at her house. I would not take her in. I'm outraged that she has the gall to step into my sister's hard-earned sanctuary and set up camp. I hope she recharges her proverbial life batteries soon enough and gets back out on the street where she prefers to be anyway.

Work/Bar Update!

So the bistro job is long gone. I succumbed to peer pressure and quit via text message. Thanks sister and boyfriend! It wasn't really my style - pretty saditty actually but overall it was the best choice. That job didn't even pay its damn workers minimum wage on time anyway. Super shady. After the quick quit, I was able to focus entirely on this week's first week behind the bar without pulling double shifts for shitty tips.

The restaurant I work at is super nice. Very chill (except for the servers but I will win them over eventually - btw why do servers have to be so damn angry all the time lol - they make so much money! mfers should be all smiles all day) and a lovely environment. I work less hours than the bistro and make more money. It's already a better job and I'm just showing up at this point, haven't even mastered where everything/who everyone is yet.

My bar manager and the general restaurant manager are both really cool guys. I like them. The chef is kind of a douche but I think hes just a weirdo and I'm staying casual and friendly with him so take that, grumpy chef!

No but really, that's just my tactic when dealing with unsavory people in a work environment. I am casual, friendly, but keep it light. I'm not interested in being everybody/anybody's friend that acts that way. But I'm not interested in being their enemy either. I am focused on my customers and navigating the ever-changing puzzle of figuring out how to get the most tips out of them. That's my main focus but I know work can be a fun place, so I try to be approachable at least. Not everyone does. But I refuse to add to negativity in the work place so I try my best to keep it light and smiling on the surface.

The tip-out procedure is unorthodox at this restaurant. Credit card tips arrive via paycheck once a week. Never done that before. Needless to say, I am eagerly looking forward to Monday now. And hourly paychecks are every 2 Thursdays. Paychecks came yesterday so I will have to wait 2 weeks for my first hourly paycheck...but it should be fat enough to pay rent just in time so I'm ok with that.

Back to bar issues...getting used to being watched all the time has been a lil tough. I haven't been behind a bar since January, and that bar I had worked at for a year so I was super comfortable behind it. This place has a double-sided bar so I am being watch by customers on all sides. I'm not super paranoid about it or anything, but it's taking a lil getting used to...I am taking more care with my appearance at work now. Since I have a bar manager that actually knows what hes doing (he even has shifts behind the bar!) the bartender's life is super easy. I have food runners, bussers, barbacks...its basically my job to make drinks, look good and make money...that's alright with me!

Fish Fry and First Durian

Since I'm finally enjoying a day off, of course we decided to head down to south San Diego and visit with my grandparents. After being lectured for a bit on my life decisions we headed to seafood city and got some fried fish. I was super happy to spend some time in the Filipino store, and my lil cousin and I picked up some Filipino goodies not found in the local grocery stores.

My guy noticed some durian fruit in the freezer case at seafood city and after some debate, we decided to get one and all have our first taste of the fruit together. I pulled up YouTube videos on how to open and eat the fruit and the 4 of us got hyped up about trying something so different and new to our tastebuds.

On the way home we stopped at an intensely local Mexican market and my grandpa bought a bag of fresh tortillas. Conversations ranged from stinky fruit to upcoming prom for my cousin to my unorthodox work schedule. Overall very fun and social interaction.

We got back to the house and a couple more of my older cousins were there. There were 8 of us total and we all sat down to eat. Yummy fried fish, rice, slaw and fresh salsa pico de gallo my grandma had prepared. The fresh tortillas finished the meal perfectly. We all ate our fill and made more plans to get together soon.

After the meal my guy, younger cousin, grandpa and I decided to give the durian a whirl. We got a cleaver, newspaper for the floor and headed outside to get the fruit we had left out there because of its intense smell. I got on the floor for leverage and started working on cutting the fruit open. It is an awkwardly-shaped fruit, covered in thick thorns. Not the easiest thing to handle.

We were all really excited about trying something so different. We laughed and joked about it and I kept working the rind off. My guy took over when it came to prying the fruit open, and I got my first glimpse of the white insides. My guy tasted the fruit on his finger and said it was delicious. I worked my courage up and followed suit, and was pleasantly surprised.

It had the consistency of custard. Creamy and soft on my tongue it had a hint of almonds and cheesecake. I've never tasted a fruit like that before. It was so good I started working extra hard to get the fruit open. My cousin and grandpa tried it and loved it. I sent my cousin to bring spoons for all of us and finally we started scooping it out onto a plate so that we could get more into our faces.

Aphrodisiac? Maybe. Weird? Yes. Tasty? Definitely. My cousin and I split the rest and I decided to try a durian/strawberry/banana milkshake soon. I've yet to make it. I will probably have it for breakfast tomorrow.

Bistro Blues

So the bistro has a really cool co-worker. The kitchen is ok, but they are suspicious of me, which is fine but my fellow server is super nice and fun to work with. So I don't have to deal with a long thawing process to get to a really nice and friendly working relationship with her. She likes to keep busy and keep the bistro clean, which I also like to do, so we work together well. 

Side note: it always amazes me how women in the kitchen hate the shit out of me when I first start working at a new place. They are so territorial! So angry I get to dress up nice and take all the customers' money! Well you should have tried being a server or bartender before you turned your nose up at customer service and got stuck sweating in the kitchen!!

Back to the server at my the bistro job...

She has a really thick mexican accent and shes super short. Its so funny to hear her talking with customers and see their initial confusion turn into eventual acceptance and adoration. "What did you say?" turns into "thank you so much! We had a lovely time!"

She claims she doesn't know much about computers because shes from the rancho (from the ranch) which I think is such a cute and funny thing to say. I help her out with the computer and she helps me out with the opening shift. Apparently I can wake up decently fine at 7am for serving work, but 5am, forget it I feel like a prisoner of war. By the time 3pm rolls around I'm ready to cry a tear or two for all other servers that have morning shifts. 

I've no idea how office people do it. None whatsoever!!!

On the downside, the bistro boss is flakey when it comes to payday. I recently found this out 2 days ago. Really marred my opinion of the guy BUT will make it easier to quit for the bar job when the time comes, so I guess it works out. How can you expect your workers to be on time, do everything you ask and then not even pay them a damn minimum wage on time? That's slavery in my book. And I'm nobodys slave! I don't care how "forgetful" or flaky you are!