Woken up early from my sleep. I feel ok, other than being all mucous-y and phlegm-y. I'm fighting that nasty flu bug that is going around. My guy has had it since Texas and I've been working a lot this past week so I think its finally trying to make its move and have a germ party in me while I'm tired.
All I can do is salt gargle, eat well and stay hydrated. And hope that's enough for now!
As for the move...I still have mixed feelings about it. After my very successful reunite lunch with an Oakland friend, I feel better about my ability to choose friends. See I've been quite lonely recently, and my guy tells me he believes I dont allow people near me, I was worried my loneliness was self imposed. It's true I enjoy solitude and I am picky about who I let get close to me but I'm not in as high demand as he'd like to think.
Anyway meeting with this friend helped me see that I do choose ordinary extraordinary people. She is so cool. One of those people that really just brightens an entire day. I had a wonderful time with her and it made me feel so good about myself for being able to make friends with someone like that.
I was sad at the thought of leaving her when I move, but time has really changed both of our agendas and actually the move still is the best idea for me. Reconnecting with one person is great but the reality is still the same. Being alone while my guy leaves the state to spend time with his dad will still happen, and I would rather be around people I trust, than a city I am accustomed to.
This is all about comfort level. People add a great deal to this equation for me. I never realized it before. I'm a little nervous about being in a city I don't know all the nooks and crannies to. Idk where the nearest pho house will be, or what store to go to to get cheap but quality work shirts...will there be an Asian market in my neighborhood where I can get real soba noodles? I know downtown SD does not have a Chinatown...
Leaving Oakland means I am leaving a lot of bullshit. But it also means I'm leaving the city where I know where everything is. That loss of familiarity is making me uncomfortable, even though I will be choosing a physically and mentally safer city to reside in.
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