I've got a sister 6 years younger than I. She is incredibly intelligent and beautiful. Everyone that meets her falls in love with her. She is so fun and funny, sweet and lovely. She's married to a wonderfully gentle, caring man and lives in a nicer house than I probably ever will. She's about a year from her nursing degree and career. She's just amazing!
And because of all this I watch her carefully. Things this "perfect" are usually the most fragile and unsteady. I try to keep in touch with her as often as she will allow. I prefer text messages to phone calls, and sometimes that leads to me being disappointed because she's too busy to respond to my texts. But I'm learning to just let nerves and sadness go, and understand she's got a lot on her plate.
She is a lot like me in temperament, in the ways she seeks to control whatever situation she's in. She can be cruel in this process, especially to those that love her the most.
We were talking about this earlier today, these fiery and at times unpredictable temperaments we possess. I try to share as much of my experiences with her as possible. I try to keep an open and honest relationship with her, so that when she begins one of those painful life transitions we all go through, I can help her understand them and get through them.
She says I help her. And that is always my goal. But in the process, I find myself benefiting as well. I feel stronger, a sense of purpose and energy. I've always felt this way after helping my younger siblings. Its obvious that I love them very much. They remind me of a time that has passed. Memories that never existed, the type to live an entire life creating and chasing.
In the meantime I continue to check in with this younger sister. I am happy to be there when she violently releases all of the bad feelings she bottles up inside. I see a lot of myself in her and I know how difficult it can be to upkeep that perfectionist image we believe in so hard.
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