Life with the kitty and without the guy has been going on. Guy has been gone for 3 weeks now. Money has been rolling in as a direct result of working like a fiend. Seeing myself getting back into the mode where I identify with my job more than my free time. As I see it happen I also see myself pull back from it.. I make plans to do different things and though I don't always follow through with those plans, I can envision them. I try to keep it balanced, if that is even possible with money sucking me into its dirty, grimy world.
A confrontation with one of my managers pretty much led to him telling me he respects and likes me and when he moves on, he hinted at me taking his place as bar manager. I did not expect that. I just wanted him to do a little more prepwork haha. I like the idea. I already do a fuck of a lot more prep and maintenance than the other bartenders and would be happy to continue to do so, but get paid extra for it. Also I get along well with the general manager so I'm thinking this is something I need to carefully foot towards.
I am paying fully for the apartment and bills now. And I am getting money left over after everything is paid for. I am getting money left over after everything is paid for AND I splurge on food or a shopping excursion. I can support my little pet friends and myself just fine by myself. I can take my little cousin out to a couple nice meals where we can bond a bit through pleasant conversation before she leaves for the army. This is a really good feeling. It does come at a price but what is the lesser of the two evils? Either unable to support myself and left in dire straits when my partner decides he cant pay his half or able to support myself and lonely because constant work.
There's a cook at my job that is interested in me. At first I thought it was just superficial sex interest, and I stayed away from all that. But he's not from around here so I think maybe he just wants to make friends. Either way I am super cautious. Basically I am the type of person that if someone expresses interest in me, I hit the brakes and create distance. I can't take the time to deal with all that, usually. Unless I am also interested in the person, then I have no problem doing my part to weave the romance into reality.
But in this case, I am keeping my distance. There's no way I want to be that woman that gets involved with another man while her guy is off taking care of his dying father. No thanks. Although I did have a dream last night about a very handsome stranger that piqued my interest. I was relieved to see that he wasn't an exact replica of my ex, as most of my romantic interests in my dreams have been up to this point. He was dark featured though. He also had a great sense of humor that was pushy in the right ways. Challenging. I'm always a fan of that!
So for now I continue along in my waking life of working constantly and dreaming my nights away about love and intrigue that I hope will come into my life again one day.
No comments:
Post a Comment