Best friend or best enemy?

It's no secret that we are our own worst enemies... But can we be our own best friends?

Think about this, everyday and everything that happens, we have to judge and decide if we like it or not. If we want to participate or not (usually not, or maybe yes!) and then we act. Simultaneously for every process. It's amazing, a miracle, and very commonplace.

Then we have the conflict of our rational thinking and our instinctual being. Muscle memory fits under the "instincts" part of our living experience.

Let's investigate whether or not we can be our own best friend: 
I am a bartender. I have a stressful job. I talk to many people per shift and I am multi-tasking because I am making drink after usually complicated drink. While running food, making sure everyone is happy and also making sure they always have a drink, etc.

I like working as a bartender, or "cantinera" as my coworkers call me. Because it is so stressful, it helps take my mind off other stress and then I get paid well at the end of the night.

But what I fail to realize, and what puts my mind more on the enemy end of the spectrum is that stress needs to be taken down, abstained from, released in a positive way, regularly. If I do not do this, and I have NOT been practicing this, it is bad for my physical and mental health. I don't think about this in the many moments of my regular schedule, and it really adds up.

I can argue that I am working on being my own best friend because I realize this. I can also argue that im doing the enemy thing because I'm possibly 'over thinking.'

The only way I can be good to myself after realizing this is by taking steps to change my own behavior. In this instance, changing my lil work universe around... Specifically I will most likely drop a work shift and also try to be more active.

A side note: I received a call from work last night. I looked at the caller id and thought to myself "fuck what if it's my boss, she's pissed I'm gone so long even though I got my shifts covered... Would she fire me? No way she'd fire me, dude always takes super time off I'm sure I'm cool... Right?" And so on and so forth. I tortured myself with these thoughts while a voicemail was left. I continued to torture myself for about 10 minutes until I said "fuck it, I'm going to listen to the voicemail and stop wondering." And I did. And it was only my coworker asking if I could cover a shift for him. See what I do to myself? Unnecessary!