I have always believed that if I want change, its up to me to make it happen. For so long (about 8 months or so) I've been ready for a change to come to my life. I've been ready to leave Oakland, seeing my potential here for being taught new things has been reached.
I've been exploring other job options other than gritting my teeth while interacting with strangers.
I've learned to be more gentle with myself and have stopped allowing people to hurt me. In short I've learned to respect myself enough to know that I deserve to live a nice life.
In the united states, this "nice life" mindset usually comes with demands for expensive handbags and shoes... Lots of shoes.
But I'm not like that. A stable home in a safer city. The ability to make money without having to constantly lie to people. The opportunity to see my nephew grow up and be near my family. These are the things I am striving for.
And today I realized this change is already happening. In less than 2 months I will have moved to a new home, set up my new schedule in an area vaguely familiar, and started the quest to make money to continue supporting myself.
Things are already different. These plans are set in motion. In less than 2 weeks I will leave the state for a week and 2 weeks after that I will be packing up my belongings.
It's relieving, comforting, exciting to know this change is coming.
I've been back to my home town before. But this time will be different because I am different.
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